If you’re like me, vacations seem to get stacked in a corner, and banished into the maybe someday pile, or stashed on my idea shelf. So, when my husband Jeff and I decided to get out of town for our 18th wedding anniversary, it felt like moving out of our comfort zone. I knew we had to get intentional about resting when I felt that stifled feeling similar to writer’s block, yet applied to all of life. I felt like my creative juices had dried up. And, Jeff a very routine-driven individual, had a sense of just getting by with not much joie de vi•vre.
A week before, I did a Google look up on my computer for the area we would be visiting for ideas of fun activities. I also researched the weather to see what days would be best for these activities and made a tentative plan.
When the day we were to leave finally arrived, Jeff wasn’t feeling the best, so we decided to leave the next day. When we finally arrived at our destination and drove into the woods, at the camp in Port Huron, dusk was just starting to settle in.

The green trees, with their lacy canopy swayed in the breeze as if beckoning us to come and rest awhile. We had leftover pizza we grilled. We settled in to the cottage and then drove to the Break water or pier at Lexington Harbor to watch the sunset.

Sunday morning dawned fresh and beautiful. We had a leisurely breakfast from the grill, went to church, and returned to the cottage for steaks, potatoes, and corn on the cob (you can find some inexpensive steak at the store if you look for it). That evening we decided we would venture to Sarnia, Ontario for fish and chips.

Going over the Blue Water Bridge stirred excitement, as I watched the gorgeous aqua water below and looked out over the point to the Ft. Gratiot Lighthouse.

We checked out some expensive sit down restaurants, and then decided we would go back to a fish and chips wagon by the St. Clair River Warf, right below the Blue Water Bridge. We got our food, a double portion of what we expected, and sat in the car at our river side restaurant table for two.

A wind surfer entertained all us cars lined up on the wharf as we sat watching fierce storm clouds gather over the Great Lake Huron.

Wind whipped across the water from the lake, the surfer rose sometimes 10 to 15 feet above the water. Finally, when the storm came close lightning and thunder forced the young man to shore. Jeff and I ate half of our meals and decided we needed to go back to the cottage…even though the storm was raging… we had to cross that 233 high bridge to get back to the cottage. The wait on the bridge took over half an hour. Wind howled. Rains pelted the wind shield; lightning slashed streaks through the sky. We sat suspended over angry rapids of the St. Clair river channel.

Over the radio we heard songs about God seeing us through the storm. Hale beat against the car as we crossed through customs and back into Michigan. Arriving safely called for celebration. We decided to stop at the Double Tree Inn restaurant called Steamers. Since it was the hotel we stayed in on the first night of our honeymoon, it felt extra special, to sit in the restaurant and split a humongous desert and reminisce a little. Did I mention we had a window seat and could see the St. Clair River and watch the traffic on the Blue Water Bridge and watch for any river freighters?

We lingered in the restaurant for some time, celebrating our safe passage over the stormy bridge while we enjoyed our peanut butter and jelly tiramisu.

Arriving back at the cabin, we discovered we had no electricity. We spent the rest of the evening driving to a store for ice and packing the food into the freezer. The next day we had hoped to spend on the beach. Some of the beaches were closed. We looked at one of the park beach entrances and huge trees had been uprooted, as if a tornado had passed through. We also realized we had left Jeff’s swim shorts at home. Plus, it was cloudy and rainy. We decided to eat our picnic lunch we had hoped to eat on the beach, by the Lexington Pier. Biting flies and rain hurried us along. Later we looked through the charming shops in Lexington hoping to find a deal on a swimsuit for Jeff, but after we had enjoyed ourselves shopping with no swimsuit deal, we went to Meijer’s and found Jeff new swim shorts (on sale). Since we hadn’t showered that day, we stopped at a nearby beach and swam. As the sun set over the horizon, we washed our hair in the lake (using biodegradable camp soap).

Tuesday we bungeed the bikes to the car rack and drove over to Lexington for the start of a 10 mile bike ride (Thank you Schwartzs). The ride proved gorgeous as we peddled up a slowly rising incline.

Scenery came slowly, so we could enjoy it all. We passed by apple trees, a golf course, farms, a vineyard, old stately homes, and lovely vistas full of wildflowers and flitting birds.

When we finally arrived at our destination, The Swinging Bridge, we felt a real sense of accomplishment. We met a group of young men who had also seen a dream of theirs come true. They were playing for the first time on a Frisbee golf course for which they had petitioned the city. It was fun to see their excitement.

We rolled back into Lexington a little later than we had planned, but all was well and we had had a great bike ride.

Wednesday we enjoyed a full day at the beach, jumping in the waves, and flying the kite Jeff and I bought on our honeymoon (we had flown it at the Marquette Beach at that time). People sat smiling at it, those bright colors, the long flowing tail… just as they had 18 years ago. It made me think about the way Christ centered marriage can be a testimony to the world. Our marriage has come through some rough times, but with God’s help, we have learned a lot, like the power of humility, the need to continue to depend on God every day, and… the need to share God’s grace and mercy with one another.

One last stop at the Blue Water Bridge before going home, we took our dog, Kia-Jane for a walk along the side of the river and got to talk to a lot of people. We saw two freighters come through the river. One was so huge, it looked like it was the shore…and I had to do a double take. It appeared seemingly out of nowhere due to a fog.

Even though taking a little time off meant we had to break ourselves away from the routine, it was worth it.

At first this article may not look like something belonging on my blog, but wait, what about when you feel called and you’re very fervent about it? Those feelings of frustration can have a huge effect on a marriage, especially when you have endured a long season of preparation and faced struggles you thought you would never overcome.
Patient Preparation
It feels like fire in your heart. It’s hard to contain that holy hunger of being called by God. Yet when God says be patient, there are things he wants us to learn. That is hard to accept. Yet if we got there too soon, we might not be prepared. God is preparing us through the very tug on our hearts that hurts so much. I don’t know how often I’ve fallen to my knees in prayerful tears, weeping for God to help me fulfill his purposes for my life, but learning dependence upon God seems a necessary part of preparation. Dependence upon God and Patience and faith go hand in hand. Faith helps ease the feeling of frustration when the ministry opportunities we long for are still further down the pathway, and our mission seems impossible.
Humble Honesty
How do you respond when you see someone already moving into their ministry when you are still developing yours? I have had to work at removing the thorn of jealousy from my heart. When I see someone who is already serving the LORD in the way I had hoped to, I still sometimes twinge a little at first. Then I admit what’s going on in the heart. A few years ago, I attended an out of state conference where people way younger than me, (who had incidentally been on the preparation road longer), received favor and rewards. I wanted that kind of encouragement and yearned for the ability to serve God like this. As I wrote in my prayer journal about it, God opened my eyes to see these young folks needed godly encouragement and maybe that’s one reason God placed me there. God didn’t place me there to torment me, but to learn more about my ministry and to learn how to rejoice in seeing someone else receiving their ministry. God is at work all over the place. As we praise him for the work he is doing in other people, it helps us keep our eyes where we need to be focusing.
Biblical Balance
Ephesians 2:10 says “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” It’s such a relief to know it’s up to God. He has it all planned out. Psalm 138:8a continues to encourage my heart as I prepare for ministry. It says “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me”. What joy this verse brings to a heart in the midst of trying and training. Philippians 1:6 is another verse to lean on. It says, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work…will carry it on to completion”. This verse reminds a passionate heart that God is faithful. We can look at God’s steadiness in the cycle of days and nights and seasons. He created the world completely. We are still discovering his creation in the universe. It helps me to look up into the starry heavens sometimes and realize how big God is. He is capable and competent and not in the practice of quitting before the project is done— ever. God says to be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10).
God doesn’t ask us to walk alone. God goes before us leading us. He will prepare each step for us, even if it is a long rocky uphill path, my job is to follow and believe that he can and will fill and use this earthen vessel for his glory. The truth of 2 Corinthians 4:7 keeps my heart balanced. It says, “… we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” On days when I’m feeling entirely inadequate I focus on the fact its God’s power which equips me. And some day, when God leads me into places I’ve always hoped for and dreamed of, I will remember, I’m an earthen vessel which God formed out of the dust of the earth. Yet, somehow, he gives us the awesome privilege of serving him.

*verses taken from the NIV

There’s something so cheery about clutching colorful balloons… that is, until they deflate or pop. Four years into marriage, Jeff, my charming husband lost his 12 year career position. I tried to hang on to all those high floating dreams I had attached to my marriage. Doing so just tangled my life in knots.
Slowly, as I’ve learned how to let go of my expectations, God has set me free more and more. Here are some things I learned that have helped me let go.
L – Let go. Letting go. It sounds simple. But sometimes it’s really hard to release your grip on the things you have assumed you would have. In my book I go into more details of how to let go if you’re struggling hard like I was. One of the most important lessons is to recognize your expectations for what they are, deflated, done, yesterday. I had to ask myself, “Don’t you want to live?” Life is too short to hold on to all the strings of those old deflated dreams. What I began to realize as I let go, was that I could place all of it in God’s hands. He knew what was best and he knew how to untangle the mess I was in.
I – Identify what’s behind those expectations. I had to ask some personal and scary questions as I let go. Questions like, “why is this so important to me?” When I brought these to God he helped me identify issues like, fear, needing the approval of others, lack of a good firm identity in God, lack of trust that God knew what’s best for me, and even believing lies of entitlement that I somehow deserved all my dreams to come true.
F – Fight through flighty feelings. Our own Feelings will victimize us if we let them. Mine had me so tangled in a mess that I was despairing of my life. Myopia set in and I lost sight of my purpose in life. But hadn’t God’s Word said somewhere that I could take captive every thought? What I learned as I spent tearful moments in prayer and honesty with God who the Bible describes as “wonderful in counsel”, “magnificent in wisdom” (Isaiah 28-29) –was that it was in fact possible to fight my own feelings. As I identified why I was feeling the way I was, I realized it didn’t line up with my life as a daughter of the King. As a child of the King, I was in fact a real life princess, heir to all God desired for my life! As I got up out of the tangles and understood how to attach my hope to God, he gave me new dreams. As I gave him my hurts and confusion, God helped me write about them and reach out to others with the comfort he gave to me. Do you know what pure joy feels like? It’s when God transforms your deepest hurts to help others heal (See 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
T – Thankful – Gratitude is a choice. It might feel like a stretch, but right now, before you do anything else, I want you to think of 1 thing you can feel thankful for… one for every finger on your hands. If you can, hold up your fingers and put them down when you speak aloud each “thank you God for _____”. Do you feel a lift? Not yet. Do this again, making lists on your fingers until you begin to sense the lift.
Focusing on fragile temporal expectations, it is a little like depending on a bunch of balloons to sustain our happiness. When we learn to place our hope in God, more and more, our life becomes secure. Here’s a great verse to memorize. “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3:24 NLT.